Which state do I file for child support

by michelle
(Kentucky)

My son and I moved to Kentucky about 2 1/2 years ago with my boyfriend of 5 years. We moved here to take care of his ill mother and we started a business. Unfortunately,the business did not work out. After we closed our business, my boyfriend went and got a job. He was fully supporting my son and I and still does.I stayed at home with his ill mother.


A year ago, I realized this would be a great opportunity for me to go to college since my boyfriend was taking care of us. I had my son when I 18 so I could never afford to go back to school. I always had to work 2 and sometimes 3 jobs to support us. Before we moved to Kentucky, I did go see my lawyer and asked him what I should do.

Before I even went to talk to my lawyer, I asked my son what he wanted to do; If he wanted to move and live with me or stay in Va with his father? He wanted to moved with me and said he did not want to live with his father. My lawyer told me that if we went to court that I could loose and the judge would make my son live with his state. He recommended that his father and I come up with some sort of agreement.

My lawyer said that once we have been across state lines for more than 30 days that his father could not take him away from me. The only way I could bring my son to Kentucky with me was to sign his father's agreement.

The agreement is: He gets my son for ALL the holidays and school breaks, he DOES NOT pay any child support ( his reason for not paying is that he is not seeing our son all the time and should not have to pay), we are to split all of his sports fees,I am responsible for getting him to Va when it is his time and he is suppose to pay for half of the gas (it is a 12 hour drive),he does carry insurance on him.

We are suppose to split the cost of everything. I have made the 12 hour for his visits most of the time and he never gave me any gas money. A few times, family members of his have met me half way in Morristown, which is a 6 hour drive one way. When we lived in Virginia, my son was a trouble maker and did not make that great of grades in school. The principle and I were on first name basis.

He was always in trouble in school or at home. Since we have been in KY, he has made honor roll the whole time and a few times he had strait A's. He has shown so much improvement since we have lived in Ky, it is like he is a totally different child now. When I turned the agreement in to the clerk at the courthouse, she told me that she would file it, but it was not from the judge so she did not know if it would hold up or not.

I just told her that I wanted them to have it on file. I am in college in Ky, majoring Criminal Justice and I am also am CASA representative. I did qualify for a work study program at my college, and I did receive the job. I am at home at night with my son and able to take him to all his school and sports functions. I only make $7.70 an hour and I am only allowed to work 30 hours a week.

My son is 11 now and growing so much. He wears men size shoes which cost a lot more money than children sizes. He also eats all the time and then some! I do not think it is right or fair that my boyfriend and I support him everyday all year round and his dad does not have any financial responsibilities. His dad has a brand new truck, house, bass boat, goes to Disney World for a week every year, and always has on nice shoes and clothes and ect.

I am sick and tired of being taken advantage of. I just received an email from his wife saying that she signed him up for a camp for during the summer for $350 and I need to pay half!!? I do not think that I should have to pay half since I support him all the time. To file child support papers, would I need to file in Ky since my son resides here or Virginia since that is where his father lives and we use to live there?

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