Step parent adoption and child support arrears

by Michelle
(Hugo, Minnesota, USA)

I Live in Minnesota. I have a 2 year old daughter, her "sperm donor" as i call him, was absolutely crazy, i left him when i was 5 months pregnant. not much contact after that, he saw her the day she was born for 10 minutes, and never again. i completely cut him out of our lives. Now i am married, we have been married for just over a year now, and my husband is and always has been her DAD. she knows nothing about Sperm Donor. I got and filled out our step parent adoption forms, along with the consent of her Biological father, he gladly signed and wants nothing to do with us, and the only thing he cares about is canceling his child support. He signed, and had 10 days to withdraw his consent, he didnt. but is now threatening to go and get custody of her if i dont sign papers saying he doesnt have to pay his arrears. which is $6,200. he owes $430 a month, and i got it for only the past year. i would do anything and WILL do anything to make sure the adoption happens and he never has a say in anything ever again.

But i also want the money that is owed to me. We now have a lawyer and he says if he REALLY wanted to go fight it, he could. Plus Sperm Donor and his CRAZY girlfriend, ( who has 2 kids, that hes supporting) told me that if i dont sign them, they will take her. So i'm pretty much being blackmailed into signing away that much money that could be very helpful. Family members and my attorney say hes most likely bluffing, seeing that they have very little money and he couldnt afford a lawyer to go fight it. but i dont want to take any chances. Is there anything i can do until our court date and finalized adoption to make sure he cant do anything? any forms or papers i can get him to sign to say he wont try to see her? My attorney also said that they would never give him rights after never being involved what so ever in 2 1/2-3 years. but could maybe start visitations. which i wont allow, id leave the country first. Is there a certain amount of time a father can stay away before they automatically pretty much say he doesnt have any rights? or some way to show that he could care less about the child, he just wants to stop paying?

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