Son emancipated and divorce is not final

by Jake
(Staten Island, NY)

In New York. Final divorce hearing 11/16/09, her lawyer was supposed to file the final decree within 60 days. Never filed it. Delayed and lied to for months, finally got permission from the court for my lawyer to file it Aug 2010. Still waiting for it to be signed off on by the judge.

My 18 y.o. son (1 of 3 children) left for USMC boot camp on 1/11/11. I want to file for motion to reduce child support, but it seems I can't because the final decree isn't signed. I won't be able to get retroactive reduction from when he left, but only from when I first file for the reduction. So I am caught between a rock and a hard place.

The child support amount is 29%, standard in NY for 3 kids. For 2 kids its 25%. So I've considered the following: reducing the amount on my own immediately, holding the reduced amount in a seperate account in case the judge says I have to pay it, and let the chips fall where they may.

I'd love some advice, suggestions, anything. My STBX and I do not communicate at all, nor do I have any desire to do so. I'm frustrated that I'm paying for a child that is no longer there. What can I do? Help!