Owing back child support arrears and what to do about it?
by A Lee "VIP MEMBER".........................
First off, I want to say that I am so sick of hearing about dead beat dad's and parents not taking responsibility for their children. I know first hand what happens when an ex gets bitter and uses the children as pawns in their sick-twisted games. And ultimately pushes the non-custodial parent out of the picture...it happened to me!!!!
Every situation is different and although there are dead beats....I want to make it very clear that I am not! My ex used my children in a game to hurt me and still wants to hurt me! SO I ask that you don't judge me. I just need some help and advice
I am a Mother of 3 that lost custody of my children in 1998 to my ex-husband. My children are all grown now, however, Upon my ex getting custody I ended up having a nervous breakdown (I also ended up in a very abusive relationship after leaving my ex-husband) hence why he gained custody, I made some poor choices and self medicated using drugs until 2001.
To make a long story short, I was ordered to pay child support, yet he kept my children from me even after I got away from the abusive relationship and got clean and sober....I have been clean and sober for 11 years now! He refused to allow me any contact what-so-ever and without a court order. I tried to get him to work with me, but he was unwilling. I was unwilling to battle in court so I just remained silent, sending cards, letters and presents at birthdays and Christmas's.
I did try on several occasions to re-unite with my children but my ex turned them against me! My youngest holds a grudge against me for and wants nothing to do with me, she says I should have fought harder. Needless to say, I didn't begin paying my child support obligation until January of 2004. But paid faithfully until my youngest was 3 months away from graduating from high school, when I lost my job in 2011.
I have recently started working a job part-time and it's only $9/hr. My ex is insisting that I pay the arrears. Is there any way that you are aware of that I can get the arrears modified and reduce the monthly payment to him?
I appreciate any advice on what I can do, If I can do anything at this point.