Not All Dads Are Dead Beats

by joh clark
(carrollton, ga, usa)

I am a father that stayed in a marriage that I was unhappy with for 18 years for my children to grow up without a broken home. i have been unhappy in this marriage for years, but stayed for the benefit of my children. Does that sound like an absent, selfish, dead beat dad to you? As this divorce unfolds we tried our best to be cordial and agree on everything to avoid a huge court battle weighing us all down. The states laws has made this impossible, it is not up to parents to decide what is a sufficient amount of money to support the children, it is up to a state law. Me and my ex wife agreed that $800 would be plenty to help her pay bills and support the kids. This did not matter in the court room, we were told it is not our place to decide what is best for our kids, that it is the states.

At this time i was employed with Sun star, for the past year, making $3680 a month, which is the best i have ever made my entire life. I told the judge that the company was going out of business due to the economic recession and my job would be ending within the next month. This did not matter either i was treated like a criminal, and nothing i said was taken into account. I am a wonderful father and my kids and many others can testify to that. But that is not how i have been treated.

So the child support was set at $1200 a month and two weeks later i was laid off from my job. I am now drawing unemployment and searching vigorously for work to support me and my kids. My unemployment gives me 330 a week and 165 goes to my kids and 165 goes to me. My ex wife has a full time job, as well as her live in boyfriend, where they both live rent free. My point with that is my kids are being supported but as my debt to child support grows due to the outrageous amount i cant afford, i am sinking fast.

On top of this i am constantly in contact with child support services and every time i call about reducing the amount i am told a completely different step or process, so i can not seem to get anywhere with this. Then to put the cherry on my frustrations, my children come to visit me with shoe to small they have to stand on the backs, and holes in their underwear, which i take my last $40 to buy new stuff that is appropriate. At this time i pull up to drop my kids off with their mom and see she has a brand new 2009 car.

Here i am applying for food stamps to eat and replacing my children s clothes, as she pulls off in her brand new car, and we call this justice, we call this child support? Why is their a way to monitor and make sure child support is paid to support my kids, but not a way to make sure it is spent to support my kids? I hope someone hears my frustrations, and can give any help or advice to me?

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Child Support Questions
by: CSA Staff

We agree with you! Not all Dads are deadbeat Dads. There are some men who get the short end of the stick even though they are doing the right thing. Thank you for sharing your situation with us. It sounds like you need a lawyer. We understand the financial situation so have you contacted Legal Aid in your county? There may be some help for you there. You definitely qualify for a child support modification. Try contacting Child Support again and ask for a modification. You can also request to speak to a supervisor, especially if you are not receiving all of the necessary paperwork. Unfortunately, there is no legal way to know what your support payments are being spent on. There are some custodial parents who do not spend the money on the children. BUT, that is the law. Once you pay the support, it is out of your hands. We wish you well through your situation. If there are any other questions we can help you with please feel free to contact us again!


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