Non Custodial Parent Seeks Visitation After 5 Years

by Mama of the Greatest Girl
(Illinios)

My daughter is 5 years old. More than three years ago, the court established paternity and child support, as well as awarded me sole custody. The non-custodial parent did not request any visitation rights at that time. In fact, he has only had a few supervised visits in my home since her birth.


After 5 years, the non-custodial parent is now threatening to seek visitation rights for both him and his parents if I do not drop the court-ordered income withholding notice so he may attend National Guard Special Forces military training out of the country. He claims he would pay me monthly from his personal bank account. I have also been verbally abused and physically threatened if I don't cooperate. (His full-time job is as a law enforcement officer.)

He claims the court will award visitation rights for not only him, but his parents as well, since he pays support. He wants me to meet him halfway between our residences every other weekend. He lives in a small one-bedroom condominium that is scarcely furnished and is over three hours away. I tried to negotiate, offering to meet him at his parent’s home, which is only an hour away.

They could stay there. Our daughter would have a furnished, private bedroom and the ability to visit with both her father and grandparents and not have to ride in the car as much. (She is now in school and playing weekend sports.) He refused.

I truly don’t think he wants visitation. A number of times he has mentioned he cares for her, but has no attachment to her. I believe he is trying to scare me into bending to his wishes of dropping the court-ordered child support. I’m just curious; will a judge seriously consider granting visitation rights to a parent who hasn’t had any interest in her since birth and grandparents she has never met?

I seriously question his parenting skills; in addition, as he has lost his temper with her the few times he has visited. In fact, on a recent visit, my daughter claimed, “Daddy purposely pushed her off the swing”. He retaliated by calling her a “liar”…

I have little money to fight in court again. The last time drained my account.

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