Increase Of Child Support From 240 To 1200

by Timothy
(Oregon, California)

This is a long story. Had a child when I was 18 to a girl I barely knew. Went into the navy to support her and my son. Paternity was never established through DNA because of lack of funds and knowledge on my part. There have always been doubts as to the paternity of this child.

Mother was engaged to another man a few months into her pregnancy, whom she is presently married to with another child.

I have paid child support all these years, and there has been little contact between us. I visited the child in question when he was young, but with my being in the Navy, her marriage, we lost contact when the child was about 2. Gifts that were sent to the child from myself and family were returned.

4 years ago, when the child was 9 and I got out of the Navy, I took a job closer to where my "son" lived with the intention of trying to establish some kind of contact. I admittedly dropped the ball before this in trying to stay in contact, but wanted to rectify if possible.

I got into contact with the mother, because the step-dad was going to court for "child abuse" that was later dropped. They courts did not find the step-dad guilty of child abuse. When I contacted the mother about trying to re-establish contact, she informed me that my son had Asperger's, and the Dr's advised that it would be to disruptive to introduce me into his life. They had asked many times before, and once again asked for me to sign over parental rights. Up until this point I had said no. But with the circumstances, my "son " did not even know about me, and believed his stepfather was his dad, I agreed. I felt that he needed more rights to take care of any medical or important decisions. For some reason they never put the paperwork thru, and I did not hear from them again.

Now last year, the mom and stepfather left their jobs to move to Ca. They ran out of money quickly so petitioned to modify support. When I received this notice I spoke with the mother, I wanted to see if there was any way now that my "son" was 12 if I could re-establish. I told her that I wanted to talk to a child psychologist to find out his opinion on this before anything was done. AT this time, she informed me that my "son" had NOT been diagnosed with Asperger's. Before I had a chance to talk with a Psy. and by the next day, she had told her son about me.

I have since gone up and visited, and talked with my "son". on a few occasions over the last few months since this began.


I did not know the mother very well, when we were together. We were not together very long.

I have found out that she is very manipulative, and lies constantly. This is from her own family.

I am not sure what recourse I have. Paternity isn't even a sure thing.

I did find out that she received a 90k inheritance last year, that according to her posts, they used up within 3 months.

I am newly married with a woman who has 4 children of her own. We have been planning on me moving to Michigan for two years now.

Another note, with the increase, they took so long to put it into effect, that I now owe arrears that are added onto my child support. So that now I pay an extra 200.00 a month for the next year. IS there any way to fight any of this?

I fear that the way that her family has portrayed her, that she will do what she can to use her son, to get to me. She was determined for me to sign over my rights many times to her husband, but she and he had stable jobs at the time. Now that she quit her job (she had for 10 years with the state) and her husband as well, I know that they would not even consider it.

I'm not sure at this point what I want to do. If he is my son, I want to know him, but fear that the mother's manipulation will make any real relationship possible.

Sh lied to me 4 years ago to keep me away, but now that she is broke, she is more than willing, almost pushing me onto her son. Trying to get me involved in his discipline, calling me dad. And the son resents this. I have only been back in contact with him for a few months now, and have only been able to visit one time. They live in Oregon.

Another note, I lost my home because of the increase. Is there nothing I can do to get the Child support to a more manageable level? I cannot not move now to Michigan with my wife, because I would not be able to afford the Child support while looking for a job, and am also afraid that I wouldn't be able to take a decrease in pay.

My wife's children are in Michigan, so no possible way for her and I to stay out here in Ca.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Money is tight right now, and lawyers want to charge 300.00 just to speak with them.