Im Paying Child Support And Would Like Proper Visitation

by Cindy
(Louisiana)

To start out, I divorced my ex husband in 2003 for being unfaithful. Drugs and alcohol after he came home on my birthday when my baby was 3 wks old and told me he'd been cheating on me since the beginning of the pregnancy. We have four daughters who were 1 month, 2 years, 4 years and 6 years old at the time.

About 6 wks after he moved in with his girlfriend, he asked if he could keep the kids overnight to take them to dinner and a movie, saying that he would return them to me after school the next day. When the next day came, I got home from work to be served an exparte order granting him temporary custody because he told them I had abandoned my children but he had the new address and I'd been at the same residence for 2 years.

When we went to court 3 weeks later his whole family went in to court and lied by saying that he'd had the girls the whole time we'd been separated. I did not actually have anybody in court with me because they didn't get the subpoenas served in time. But I did have written statements from neighbors, school bus drivers, teachers and the school principal stating that I had been the one who had the kids, and that the kids were living with me until that day, and also that I was the one putting the kids on the bus and getting them off, that I was the only one going to the school for meetings, that until the day he took the exparte order to school, they had never even seen him or heard of a new address and that I was the one that discussed the situation about our split up with my daughters teacher and principal so if they noticed any changes in her behavior they would have a heads up on what could most likely be the cause.

Since then, it's been hell. For the first few years I had to listen to my kids screaming and begging me not to take them back to his house every time I got them for a visit. I was told by my daughters that their step mom told them that I wasn't their mom and if they didn't call her mom then she wouldn't take care of them. Since the divorce, even after he married his second wife, my ex has been trying to get back with me but that's not going to happen. I got married in December of last year and I am very happy. The problem is though, my ex tells my children that I don't love them because if I did then I would be there with them so we could be a family again.
He also tells them that because I refuse to let him dictate where I can live I don't want them. He's in Ohio and I'm in Louisiana. When in Ohio, I have local visitation orders and long distance orders when I'm not.

I am behind on child support because of some jail time I did and the economy now, but I pay what I can. My problem now is that he kept my kids from me for a year and a half, I filed contempt charges and he was found guilty, this was in 2005. In 2009 he started again, he refused my summer vacation and I went from talking to my girls almost every day to maybe once a month for less than 5 minutes each. It's not because I don't call. He doesn't have a house phone so I call his moms (she lives across the alley in the trailer park from him) and since August when I told him again I was not coming back to him, it's been one excuse after another why I can't talk to my kids.


I will admit that from 2003 to 2007, I was in trouble with the law, mostly misdemeanors and a felony for receiving stolen property. I didn't know it was stolen) but in the last 3 years, he's been in and out of jail multiple times, I'm talking double digits, and most of them for theft. He's been arrested by the same officer 3 times in the last 6 months in the town he lives in. My problem with this is the strain on my daughters. Also I just found out that my 8 and 10 year olds were picked up by the cops in November for theft. My 13 year old failed school last year and my 10 year old is failing this year. My 10 year old was recently injured. I'm not so sure he didn't do it, her leg was dislocated and all the muscles and tendons stretched an inch. He wants me to believe that the dog ran into her when she was putting food in its dish and caused this. I don't believe that. I was with him for almost 12 years and I know he's abusive. I've reported bruises all over my girls, over 30 on one of them at once, he allows his dogs to bite them. My now 6 year old had 6 teeth marks (holes) in her chin, 2 on her nose, 4 bruises on her neck and several on the back of her head from the last attack. My oldest girl sent me pics. She didn't receive medical care, he still has the dog and child protective services did nothing when I called them but I expected that.

His representative at the agency couldn't even recall any events of the only meeting we had with both me and my ex present the last time we went to court, she also told the judge to leave the kids with my ex after he testified that he hadn't done drugs in months and then failed a drug test 2 minutes later, I passed.
My main question is how can I help my children? Is there someone I can call to complain about the office of child protective services and their actions regarding my kids safety?

Also, I'm continuing my child support but still being denied visitation. I spend over $1000 dollars every trip to Ohio because I have to cover all the transportation cost to be denied the right to even see my kids. Shouldn’t I be able to get this deducted from my support somehow? I know I have to take him back to court for contempt again, but there has got to be a better way to get a visitation schedule enforced without having to constantly be in the courtroom. That costs me even more money for court costs, attorneys and travel on top of the child support and lost expenses due to refused visitation that I already have.