Father Figure

In Washington State if a man and a woman are together and the woman has a child from another man. As soon as the man leaves the woman he is responsible for paying child support for the child. How is this determined? Do the man and woman have to get married? Is there any other state that does the same thing?

The reason I ask....my husband slept with a girl while he was at AIT. Then he got deployed. Sure enough came back and found out the girl had a child, he had to do a paternity test and found out he was the biological father. In the child's entire life, my husband has only seen her once. He tried at first.

But being across the country, deployed every other year, it makes things difficult. Not to mention the mom has nothing positive or nice to say about my husband, she publicly down grades him, so he doesn't want to even see her or have anything to do with her (the mom). If he ever wanted to see his daughter, it would of course have to be through her.

Now, my husband is the biological father, but the mom has been with this guy since the child was born, the "boyfriend" has taken over the "daddy figure" all over the internet talks about how great their life is and how the boyfriend is "daddy" to the child. The mom did nothing but complain and argue about how her daughter should have 2 daddy's.

Well that's not going to happen. why would my husband try to walk into her life and confuse her? She is almost 4 years old and has no idea who my husband is. My husband has tried talking to the mother if the boyfriend and her are going to get married and if he is going to adopt their daughter.

Not because of the money, he has been paying child support and has no problem paying it, but because of the "father figure" he already is. The only reason the mom wont marry her boyfriend and have him adopt the child is because she doesn't have a great job and lives off my husbands child support.

Welcome to my husband not knowing there was a child until after a deployment (back pay kicked in and took a big chunk out of his paychecks).

All in all, is there anyway the "father figure" is responsible for the child considering he is the only man the child knows, or is the mom just lucky and gets to keep taking the money because she's too lazy to get a full-time job?

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