Distance And Joint Decision Making

by Jennifer
(Denver, CO)

My ex and I have joint decision making concerning our 7 yr old son. I lost my job in Boulder and had to move 1 hour away to work in Denver. I am living with my boyfriend and we plan to marry and have a child within the next year. Since my boyfriend is divorced with a child and cannot move closer to Boulder I had to change my agreement to see my son to every weekend instead of Tu, Th, and every other weekend.

I would like to put my son in a school equidistant between my ex and I, however he feels our son is in a good school and doesn't want to change it. Also, my ex made plans for my son this summer that take away 12 of my days with my son. Two of the outings include leaving the country for which he did not ask me for permission.

I want to do what is best for my son and do not want to stir up trouble, however, I feel I have been shut out of the decision making process where my son is concerned and don't know what to do.

Are there any rules in Colorado which would force my ex to meet me halfway when driving to exchange our son or in picking a school equally between us?

Also, I feel I cannot move as my boyfriend is close to his ex and in a good situation with her and his son. My ex is currently living with his girlfriend so I do not believe he would be able to move either.

What can I do? I don't want to feel I have no control over my son's life but I also don't want to be shut out of it.

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Decision Making
by: Child Support America Team Member

Hi Jennifer,

This is a tough one. The only thing to do is to go to court and allow a judge to decide. But, it may not be in the best interest of your son to switch to a new school. In blended families a child needs consistency and stability. Have you tried talking to your ex and designing a parenting plan together?


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