Dead beat dad wants visitation after 9 years

by shannon
(gresham,or, usa)

In July 2000 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately, the father turned out to be a drug addict who wanted to sell drugs from our home. When I disagreed, he punished me by trying to have me committed 3x and then finally ran off with the baby in the middle of the night. The police were called and a search was put out. A couple of hours later he and the baby were found by the local police and the baby was returned to me. This was punishment for wanting to leave him. He took me to a marriage counselor to try to have me committed.

He gave a big speech about how wonderful he was and what a shlep I was. The counselor asked him to leave the room and asked me what I thought about "Mr Wonderfuls" performance. When I replied what the difference was? Don't men stick together? He stood up and told me to look at him, He was a big man. And said nothing scared him but "that man scares the hell out of me." He told me that he was in the business to bring families back together but there was no way that MY relationship was not fixable and get as far away from him asap because he didnt want to read about me in the paper. My baby's father was very angree. When we got home he phoned his parents in Texas to have me committed there and have his mother raise my son. I phoned my mother who rescued us.

The father said that he would come to where we were and get into rehab, etc., all of which were empty promises. He phoned me 14 Feb 2001 to tell me that he was playing house in our home with another girl. Everything was in my name, and yet he was able to disconnect the phone and disappear, stealing irreplaceable items from me (photo albums of myself as a baby, heirloom jewelry, year books). I never heard from him again until this last Christmas (9+ years later). He found my mother's phone # on phone book yellow pages and told her he knew where I was and that after 9 years of not seeing or caring about his son, he suddenly wants to get to know him because now he is having to pay the full support amount.

I feel tht after deserting us in favor of his drugs, trying to have me committed, and not receiving support of any kind tht I do not owe him anything. He disappeared on his first son for 3 years until he had to pay to that mother and he tried to take away that child from his mother as well. He is a very dangerous person. And the obvious question is : didnt I see this before I got pregnagnt by him? No I did not. I met him at college and thought that he was a man a value. The bigger question is this: How do I collect my child's support while retaining my child's safety? Can this man really come and disrupt our lives after disppearing for 9 years? What are mine and my son's rights? My son has grown up without this person and has NO desire to see him. Is my son old enough to make that decision? If a visitation order is granted to this individual, can I request that he has supervised visits and how do I go about getting this put into effect? Is my 10 year old obligated to see this man even though he has no interest in doing so?

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