Custodial Parents

by Victoria Baalson
(Litchfield, MN)

I have full custody and share legal custody with my ex. He has general visitation (every other weekend, EO holiday, ect.) I am originally from TX and never wanted MN to my permanent home. I was about to move and found out I was pregnant and so I stayed here.

I am currently going to school for Social work which will take about 4 years and my husband graduated with his AAS in Criminal Justice and needs 2 more years. There are very little jobs here and the majority are about 1-2 hours away from where we live and we don't feel that area is a good place to move to.

There are lots of crimes and I don't feel safe having to move. As I said, I am originally from El Paso, TX and ALL my family is there. I have 2 aunts who live here in MN, I don't talk to either one of them because one is always working and doing her own thing and we are estranged from my other one. It is very hard living away from my family.

Both my mother and father live in TX and at this moment my grandmother is sick. My grandfather passed away and both my father and my mother work crazy hours and are unable to take care of her. Jobs for the criminal justice field and social work field are vast there and I would like to move back and move in with my grandmother so I can take care of her and she wont be alone.

I have spoken to my ex a lo about this and he doesn't give me any response. I spoke to him once about it and he cut me off and said no. I then tried to send him a letter just explaining everything and how visitation would be so he can get the most time he can have with her. He responded by trying to file a custody case through Federal Court.

I am trying to figure this out without the courts but he is just not having it. I have reassured him plenty of times I do not wish to take her away from him, I am trying to do whats best for my family.

I have also brought up the fact that when he joined the military he had advised me that he and his wife and he kids might be moving to Missouri or Michigan and I did not fight about it. I merely said fine, just let me know when this happens and we can figure it out.

I am not happy being away from my family as I am Hispanic and in our culture it is a fact for the family to be all together. It has been a tough road for me. I really feel if I move there I not only can help my grandmother I can also be closer to my family and be 100% for my husband and kids.

My ex is behind in child support by $9,095 and its a constant battle with him on everything. He wants to fight about every little thing and I am just over it. I believe distance between us will make our relationship better as we will be too far away to think about fighting.

I have set up visitations with him as follows (if I were to move to TX), He would have her every summer from the time school lets out until it began. He would get her for 1 or 2 holiday vacations, depending on school vacation time and cost.

I would also let him have her for Spring break. We also discussed lowering child support to help with the cost of travel. I also said we would split travel expenses, for example, I would by a one way to him and he would buy a one way to us.

I understand the concern that he and the courts might have about me moving out-of-state, but on my part there would be no fighting or keeping her form her father. I also grew up with the same schedule with my father and mother.

I was with my mom for the school year and flew to my fathers during the summer and some holidays. I found it very exciting to be in a different place for the summers and the excitement of the plane ride in itself was amazing.

I just need some advice on how to go about speaking to him or filing court papers and if I need a lawyer?

Comments for Custodial Parents

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by: Former Marine

If your ex is still in the military, call his Chain of Command (your local recruiter can assist with this). The military does not take this lightly. They will in fact order him to pay you the child support owed. All you have to do is show proof that he didn't pay. It might take a couple days at most to straighten this out, make sure you provide a copy of the custody order stating how much he is suppose to pay.

As for leaving the state, if he takes you to court over this be aware that you have to prove to the court that it best for the child(ren). If you will be getting a job that pays better than where you are at, they should see it in your favor.

Just make sure you file the custody and child support paperwork as soon as you move.

Both my ex-husband and I are/were active duty Marine Corps.

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