Child Support Payments

I am all for child support, both parents supporting the child and being involved, but after watching my boyfriend go through all of this for two years now, and it's still ongoing, I'm now wondering when is it just too much. When my boyfriend and I first started dating he and his ex had an okay relationship.

He was able to go every weekend to see his daughter, any time she asked for money, even if it was just for gas, he would either send it or take the hour long trip to take it to her if she requested it. Then when she found out he was seeing someone new she quit letting his see his daughter, and would still ask for money, and he would still send it.

But it got to the point that he gave in and filed for visitation. He was already on child support, and hated filing for visitation, it was not the way he wanted the relationship to go. We went to court, and they said because of his daughters age, her being so young, that they did not fee like overnight visits were a good idea at the time, that we would have to wait a year for that.

So every other Sunday we would get her from 1-6. That's ten hours a month. And we have to pick her up. We lived a little over an hour away at that time, and while there are a lot of things to do in Memphis, there aren't a lot of things to do that allow quality time, which is very important since its only 10 hours a month.

I don't see how that could POSSIBLY be enough time to have a relationship with a father. Then when his ex found out that my boyfriend and I were having a baby she filed for an increase in child support. He went to court, and it was increases $250 a month, we now pay $950, and when he doesn't get overtime at work-which will take affect at the end of April, until close to the end of the year, thats HALF of his income.


But they asked for his last pay stub, it had overtime on it, and they said that it doesn't matter that he won't always have overtime, all that matters is what is on the check and they have to use that as an average. He took a new job, we now live in Nashville, so now we're driving four hours, to get his daughter for five, to turn right around and drive back another four.

I understand there are dead beat dads out there, and laws are created to make sure the dead beats do everything they should, but what about the dads that are doing everything they can, and get beat by the system. It takes $45 to fill up our gas tank, it takes a tank and a half to go to Memphis and back, doing that twice a month, for five hours, then half of our income on top of that, it really just does seem like SO much to me.

Too much. My boyfriend just wants time with his daughter, his ex has taught her to call her new boyfriend Poppa, and you can imagine how painful it is everytime we hear that. I was with my boyfriend for over a year before I got a chance to meet his daughter. So why are there not more standards that help both parents.

Because it is not even. And the on top of all of this, we get to pay court cost every time we go? Does this not seem unfair to you? Again, I understand that a lot of the "rules" were probably set in place to help women who had men who just wouldn't do anything, but why why why are there fathers who are trying, and then get beat down by that system?