Child Support Modification Done and Now Ex-Owes Me

by Kolleen
(San Diego, CA)

I was divorced over 15 years ago. When I originally got divorced i just wanted out and accepted $200.00 a month for 2 children and took 4 pieces of furniture with me. He got everything else. He got out of the navy and received a 36K settlement which since we were still married at the time I took 6K to move and restart a live with my children.


He said he couldn't afford them so he didn't take them or want to share 1/2 time with me. I found a job worked full time and eventually got remarried to a wonderful guy who took my 2 children in and immediately put them on his insurance and started supporting them.

My ex for almost 6 years paid nothing and in fact even moved in with us temporarily when he couldn't find a job (even though he has a 5 year degree in electrical engineering). Then for the next 5 years he paid here and there. About 9 years ago I was going to take him back to court and at that time he was afraid of them raising the child support so we came to a verbal agreement of him paying me 615.00 a month which he did for the next 2-3 years pretty steady, maybe missing a month here and there.

Finally my husband retired and we moved to California and I now decided that I would no longer make arrangements with my ex but would open a case with the state. So i did. I put all the payments he had paid me in the past and even probably gave him some extra but I tried to be fair. I met with him at the Child Support office and we agreed that he would pay 1000.00 a month plus put 100.00 each month in each of the kids college fund.

The state took the 1000.00 but couldn't enforce the 100.00 a month X 2 for my children. He paid the 100.00 X 2 for about 7 months then stopped and constantly gave me an excuse why he couldn't pay it always blaming it on me or a dental bill for the kids. But remember that all these years I paid the medical and dental even though the original order said he needed to because my new husband took that on.

My daughter turned 18 and immediately ran down to the courthouse to change her name to her real dad as she says name (my husband's) and my ex continued paying for my son or so I thought. My son would have been 18 in July 2011, but because the State of CA saw those payments of 615.00 9 years ago they gave my ex credit for all the years he didn't pay.

So child support said I owed him 3500.00 and stopped paying the 500.00 a month for my son in December 2010 figuring that in 7 months when he turned 18 we would be even. I thought this wasn't right so I was going to take him to small claims court to get the remaining 3500.00 and be done with it but in order to get the credit amount they said I owed him for court I needed it in writing.

So I contacted child support and the lady said to get a modification in order to show the judge in small claims the amount I was trying to collect. Instead after resubmitting the paperwork with the explanation the court now turned around and said he owed me right over 13K. Wow what a surprise when I received that notice in the mail. Now he is filing motion for this dispute.

Funny that for the past 5 years when he had a credit he didn't dispute it but now that he owes me he is disputing it. And to think all I wanted was my child support to continue till July 2011 when my son turned 18. If instead of getting that money back from the state he would have just mailed it to me nothing more would have been done and we would have moved on from this.

But now it backfired on him. So to get to my question. He was paying 500.00 a month till December now with the amount they say he is in arrears I am only getting 120.00 more a month. With this I will be lucky to get the money in right over 2 years. How can I get the money more quickly???

I am not trying to be vicious but it really is money that he owed to me besides all the years of my paying for doctors and dental when he didn't pay. And the original reason he said he didn't pay was for the 6K I took before we were divorced and he was making me pay it back to him.

So that was one reason he wouldn't pay child support in the early years. What a deadbeat he was then and is now. Also, he has told the child support unit that he is filing a motion against the 13K they say he owes. What help can I get with that? I just want him to be done and out of my life for good.

Its amazing how you think you know someone only to find out later what a dirtbag they really are. Please any help you can give me would be appreciated. Thank you. Kolleen

Comments for Child Support Modification Done and Now Ex-Owes Me

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Be grateful you got child support
by: Anonymous

You are lucky you got child support from your ex and that he has contributed towards their college funds. My ex never paid a penny towards anything and is in arrears of over $210,000.00 for 2 boys. He has spent more energy in trying to hide from his obligations. Be grateful you met a man who took care of your two kids and even put them on his health insurance.
You just need to move on with your life.

You are lucky!!!
by: Anonymous

My son's father will do anything to get out of paying our son!! when we first went for child support, I didn't want to take all his money, The court said he would owe me 375.00 a month, but because his wife was getting ready to have a baby I agreed to 215.00 a month and he pay for health care!! and also help pay for any type of extra school things!! Every time I would ask for help he would say I pay you child support, 49.62 a week really!!

So I took him back and even with him not having a job at the time, He kept running his mouth to the master so they upped his child support to $365.00 a month!! I have not seen a penny from my son's dad in over a year! My Current husband has stepped up to the plate! But he has his child support that he pays that is 1200.00 a month for 2 children, and we have a 2 year old daughter together!! My husband ALWAYS pays his child support but his ex is never happy!! so really you should be happy that you even get child support!! We live in Maryland

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