Child Support Arrears And Fathers Rights
by JR "VIP Member".....................
My ex wife and I were divorced in 1999, finalized May 4th, 1999. First mistake was I got a cheap divorce, uncontested. The first page is about child support for 3 children. 500.00 month, second page stating she was responsible for the home we had, house payments, insurance, taxes. Visitation; reasonable as agreed upon both parties, because I work 24 hr shifts. Almost forgot I wanted joint custody however the lawyer/paralegal, which ever wrote the decree put down she had permanent custody of the kids and when I asked she told me that how they wrote it.
How young and stupid of me. Anyway 2 weeks went by and she remarried!! Yeah I was blown away but shouldn't have been surprised. I struggled to get help and I was told by several Lawyers I was just screwed. She married a guy in the ARMY. The next thing I know she let me know she and the kids are moving to Germany where he is stationed. I'm telling you that was the worst thing in my life besides watching them leave at the airport! My whole life ended as it felt. Now about a week before they left SHE begged for me not to take the kids away from her or try to stop her from going overseas.
Even said she didn't want anything from me just keep paying the house payments till she can do something with it. She never took over the house far as all the necessary paperwork or refinance. Now of course I told her I wouldn't do anything she was worried about but oh yes I was trying desperately!! She told me they would only be gone for a year and come back and live here. Never happened! Stayed in Germany for 2 1/2years then went to Seattle, Washington. for 2 years( while in Seattle my oldest son came to visit and remained here with me, at age 14.
After they went to Alabama for a short run then Korea and now Alaska for good! I made a visit to Germany to see my kids for a week. That was very hard emotionally to see how much they grew in hat short of time. I have made a visit every place to see them except Korea and Alaska. My daughter was 1 when they left and she?s 13 now, my other son is 16. Up until last year my ex and I have gotten along at least when she decided not to. Let?s be realistic here, I did what I had to with my ex as far as kissing up too her, to be able to talk to the kids.
She never understood the moral aspect of the whole thing! She has took the bond and the child hood away from me and you cannot get that back. As of last year I just told her how I felt and always felt and that didn't go over well. A lot of mudslinging, and that?s a whole other story i.e.; kids aren't yours, take everything you got, never see the kids again, and so on...Last August I received child support orders from Alaska and they started garnishment of $460 a month. Oh the house I was paying on for her I had no choice but to let it go last year.
Anyway I called to talk to her about this as adults on sept13th at 10:38 pm via cell. Her husband answered and he told me she was unavailable and hung up. THE ONLY CALL I HAVE MADE to try to talk to her. About a week later while I?m at the firehouse a
deputy calls me over and hands me a protective order! Saying once I was served with support the harassing phone calls and threats where being made. Even went so far as saying I have come to every duty station and caused her physical harm! She also got an order on her own son that lives with me. I was blown away! Just a little about me, I?ve been in public service for nearly 15 years (paramedic/firefighter) and have an impeccable record and still do.
She has had arrest for domestic violence a few times. Public record. I have been dealing with this for all this time, in the mean time no help. Far as the child support they are taking 55% of my take home pay. They are saying I owe her $103,000with interest. I had no problem when they started taking monthly child support out of my check it is when they added on arrears that I cannot pay. When I paid on the house I did not even live in for ten years I still made the payments on the house per our verbal agreement. I have about a month to live of the rest of my credit card then my wife and kids are on the streets.
First I have no problem at all supporting my kids but we do have to live also. If I thought she was going to go back on what she said wow I would of done it different. Personally yes I?m pretty bitter about the system and rights as I feel I have NONE. I?m not trying to get pity by no means. And anything I said I will do lie detector or anything they want. Ive never got anyone to listen to me, not about the money as what everyone only care about, but the interest of the kids! She was allowed to take the kids out of my life where we wouldn't have that bond as a family should have.
I love my kids with all my heart! Before I forgot back in 2005 when they came through Ga. I did get my ex to meet me at a lawyer?s office to get my Son legal with me as how I said it. It was to get joint custody of the others and full with him. Well when she and her husband were explained that they jumped up acted out; as too the lawyer was having the law come there. They left and never came back on their way to Seattle. So that never got resolved. IM going to stop now or I will go on for pages.
I did fill out hardship paperwork and sent it in the Alaska cssd. If they can lower it so we can live that will be good. Comes down to should have got it in writing! Have to deal with it. I won?t to have rights and I'm at the end of the road. My daughter called me the other day which was great, sounds like a grown woman. She asked me if I could get her a plane ticket for her to come for the summer.
Can't explain how hard it was to say I just couldn't. She said she understood and that her mother wouldn't get her a ticket. Her mother wasn't home when she called. She won?t let me talk to them on the phone, computer, ect. I?m very TIRED, all these years without my kids and all alone to deal with this. I do appreciate the opportunity to be able to explain a little of my life. I'm not too optimistic any more, sorry. Thanks again, J