Chances Of Getting Child Support

by Tiffany
(Tallassee,Al,USA)

I am a 1st time mom who wants nothing but the best for my child. I am not the type that will keep my child away from her father,but he has done nothing for her. He feel that he will not get anything that I ask him to get for her if he can not see her. In which he don't understand that I'm not trying to keep him away from her but I do feel that he should contribute to see her.


I went through 9 whole months not mentioning almost a week overdue with NO help from him. Never even offered any gas money when (because I'm on Medicaid) my doctor appointments was almost an hour away. I'm trying to do the best I can to show him yes I want him in his daughters life but its not fair that I have to keep coming out of my pocket(which I was working and also in school but had to go on maternity and also had to have a c section) supporting her and he can just "look" like he his supporting her and see and get her when he wants.

No he is not working because he got fired a week after I found out I was pregnant and I still feel that he is not trying to find a job. He go to school also and get a check every month from the VA but I haven't seen a penny of it. I'm trying to give him a chance which i didn't think it would take 9+ months to do so. I didn't want to put him on child support because I was trying to give him a chance to be a man but I don't see any other way to receive financial help from him.

Also, I did not add his name to the birth certificate or give my child any part of his name because of this.

I really need some help. Even if I don't put him on child support, I just want to know my rights.

Thank you.

Comments for Chances Of Getting Child Support

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Go for it
by: Anonymous

I understand what you are going through. I feel the same way I have been taking care of my son since day 1 he is now 10 months old. His father use to come see him once every few months and eventually just faded out. He had contributed a couple pairs of clothes maybe 2 cans of milk 1 pack of diapers and $160 during the 1st month.

Our relationship has been rocky from the start but stayed long enough to get his name on the birth certificate. He now is begging me to not go through with child support even though he hasnt had a job since the baby's been born and is very well able to work.

You can only be nice and considerate for so long and then they take advantage. Just go for child support anyway you can. It might take awhile and a lot of paperwork and with him not on the BC but dont give up.

He has to take responsibility also. I think you will have to have some prrof that he claims the child and then possibly get a paternity test which will out of your pocket, but so worth it. Good Luck

am i wrong?
by: Anonymous

Hi thanks for responding and maybe I could use your advice again. Me and my baby daddy are better now but she is only a month old and he wants to take her places with him. My problem is I just feel like its too soon for her to be going from house to house. He has a son but he wasn't there until he was a year old so ur has no idea how to take care of a newborn.

I just want the best for her and I feel it would be best if she was older. It seems unfair to him as it would me too but I just like to know that my baby is in good hands when I'm not around.

Am I wrong?

Response
by: Anonymous

Well good u are trying to work things out, but you are now looking out for the best intrest for your baby as well. It is not a good thing to be taking the baby out during the newborn stage she is very septable to sickness during this stage. That is up to you to put your foot down.

You are the Mother you have all rights at this point, If he is not named as the father on the Birth Certificate then all rights are yours. On the otherhand if you were to have to go after him for child support again you would have to prove him as the father. I would keep all and any records of when how long he has stayed or visited with the baby.

The dates he has purchased anything for the baby, document all. Also keep receipts for everything you purchase all these can be very importnant. Also once you establish him as the father you both have equal rights to that child. This mean if he wanted to take the baby and keep her, thats his right!

That why I would suggest getting custody as well and if you feel comfortable with him having visitation therefore there are limits. I am not by any means a professional, I am too learning this as I go, wish u the best of luck.

IN ADDITION TO...
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much. I feel like I know you lol. And the documentation advice was great. It has crossed my mind to do so b4 just never stuck. And also when I had my baby they never asked me anything about the father or for him to sign anything. So with that being said, when I sent off for her birth certificate I did add his name but ur has never signed anything that had to do with the child.

So with him not actually signing the birth certificate,will it make a difference?
he feels that its wrong that I take my baby everywhere I go but he can't. Yes I would be a little angry about that too but I'm trying to get him to understand that its not so easy. I'm her mother and I'm who she is use to and the places go is to church (my dad is my pastor mom is my assistant pastor) store, and docs appointments.

So its not like I'm taking her to bad environments like he would. He smoke and drink as well as his whole family (i know seem odd how I a church girl not to mention in a holiness church got involved with him right?) But I jus can't get him to understand dat its too soon.

And its not jus showing your new baby off to people and everything is all good, but u actually have to take care of her and have patience which he is lacking in both areas. With me being a 1st time mom its hard for me to let her go or have her out of my sight right now especially to someone who had no clue of what to do. She's my angel and no one is gonna take care of her like her mother would.

response
by: Anonymous

I really understand where your coming from, I was greatful to have my sister by my side the whole time. My mom and dad helped here and there but for the most part I did and still do everything by myself. Its not easy. Ive had my moments where I would get frustrated because I was overwhelmed but if you have family that willing to come over or just take the baby for an hour or so let them.

Mommas always need a break, I know its hard beacuse you feel they dont know what to do but someone who has had babies they know. As for the father, he doesnt understand the bond between you and baby, its not that you dont want him to take the bby there is a time for evreything and right now is not the time to be taking her everywhere especially around smoking n all that.

For one baby get really sick from catching a virus from someone you think hes gonna be up all night and day caring for her, NO, its gonna be you!! YOU DONT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. Like i said put ur foot down ur not being mean u just have to look out for the baby's well being. As far as the birth certificate u put him name on it but he didnt sign anything?

Hmmm On the actual birth certificate is he name as the father? Im not too sure if they would put him name if he never signed anything. Also yes document everything! when u fill out paperwork it makes it so much easier and makes ur case look good.

I dont really think material things such as clothes and things will count as financial help but keep record anyway, I used a small calander book, very inexpensive.

The state will look at how much money and time he has actually spent with the baby to determine the amount of child support.

birth certificate
by: Anonymous

Yes he is named as the father on the birth certificate. They gave me a stack of papers to feel out along with the birth certificate paper that I had to mail. I have not yet received the permanent birth certificate so I'm not sure if they added it or not being that its the same hand writing .

My brother and his baby's mother just had a baby a week ago and he had to identify that he was the father in order to sign the birth certificate. They did not ask ne anything about my child's father when I had her. Not to mention it was two different hospitals. They weren't really good on giving a lot if info so I'm just waiting for the birth certificate to return in the mail.

RESPOPNSE
by: Anonymous

That's crazy that they didnt ask you anything about the father? I know when I had my son his father just had to sign some type of paternity papers, also when I checked into the hospital they asked if he was the father and entered his info into the computer as his father. My sons birth certificate took forever, I ended up calling the Vital Records where the BC are established.

They informed me that once the child is born all the necessary paperwork that I filled out at the hospital is sent from the hospital to their office but might hadnt been sent. Then you have to send them the fee for how many copies you want. So took like a good 4 months to get mine. Does your baby have his last name?

BC continued
by: Anonymous

Yes it is. And no she has my last name. I guess because my baby daddy wasn't with me when I went in to have her I guess they took matters into their own hands to never ask me so idk what's goin on with her birth certificate. Maybe I should call someone also and try to find out.

And yea they said it takes awhile for it to come back. I even made copies of the birth certificate order form that I had to send off just in case if it got lost in the mail or something crazy happened. Just being precautious basically. That was the only paper I had in order to get my baby's birth certificate so I didn't want to take any chances.

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