Can I waive half of the back owed support?

by Heather
(Virginia)

My ex husbands owes me just over 50,000 in back support for our 3 girls. California collects the support for me even though we moved to Virginia 2 years ago (he is still in CA).

My ex husband has never been an active parent. No matter how hard I tried he has never made the girls a priority, going a year sometimes 2 without seeing them.

My husband and the girls step father is a great dad. We want to adopt the girls. My ex husband has agreed. So far the most selfless thing he has ever done for them. However he wants me to settle his back owed support from 50,000 to 20,000.

Is this possible and allowed. None of the back support is owed to the county or state. My family says that he is selling us the children and a court won't allow it.

I won't pretend that he isn't motivated by money, but this is what's best for the girls and that's what we want.

So can we settle the back support from 50,000 to 20,000?