Can A Man Put Himself On Child Support

by Omar
(Miramar, Florida, USA)

I am 20 and I just learned of a third child in which I am the father (confirmed via DNA testing). The children are ages 18 months, 6 months and 1 week. Yes I screwed up big time.


Anyway, I am with one mom and other two are stating that they don't need anything from me and I don't need to be involved. However, I know this will change.

How can I protect myself? Can I initiate a child support order so that I can establish some type of support arrangement for the three kids at once?

Comments for Can A Man Put Himself On Child Support

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If More Young Men Were Like You
by: Child Support America Team Member

Hey Omar,

Great question, and I have some good advice for you. Keep the ball in your court. Ask these women if they will agree to a monthly amount that you feel is fair. If they say yes, get it in writing and get yourself a court date to make it official.

If they say no, you will still need go through child support or the courts to set up an order. It looks good if you start the child support order, rather than allowing those women to set it up first. Child support has to be paid, so it might as well be you who sets it up. You were also right, because those women will probably eventually do it later.

Also while you are in court, you should set up a court ordered visitation schedule with your kids. Right now, as a non-custodial parent you don't have many rights without a court ordered visitation schedule. Get one, or you may have many problems down the line.

Well take care, and respond back to this post anytime.

CSA STAFF


thank-you
by: Anonymous

Thanks for the feedback. Omar

hi
by: catherine

Hi Omar, you sound like a kind, caring, man, and very bright.At your young age and your children's, young age, inniating child support is a mature move on your part.Whether you stay or not, with any of these women.Be a father to your children always.And maybe talk with a doctor to get some info on what kind of birth control is right for you.Your children are very fortunate to have you as there father. Take Care

Thanks for you comments
by: Doug from CSA

Hi Catherine,

I just wanted to say thanks for your kind words of encouragement to Omar. I agree that he needs to be commended.

Thanks again, for your input and visit us here at Child Support America anytime.

Doug




Good for you
by: Toria

If only more young men thought and felt the way you do. It baffles me how guys make children and then go on with their lives as if nothing is different. Kudos to you! And your kids will love you even more for stepping up to take care of them and not being forced to.

Commend?
by: Anonymous

Uh, why does Omar need to be commended? Three kids three different women in under two years! Omar that is NOT commendable. People he is putting himself on child support to make sure there is not huge back child support latter, he didn't say I care about these kids and want to be sure they are taken care of, he said the women will change their minds.

That was his reason, not the kids. Omar I hope you slow down and becareful about who you make a baby with, it is setting these kids up for a harder life than necessary when you have so many by so many different women. I wish you and your family the best but I cannot commend you.

Women are crazy...
by: Anonymous

To the comment before criticizing Omar's history...that is neither here nor there. Don't throw stones at another person's decisions, whether good or bad, when I am quite sure you have made your own set of mistakes like everyone does. Things happen...but, our response to it is just as much our choice as the questionable choices we made to get there.

Omar, it's good that you're trying to take some sort of action, regardless of your motives. At the end of the day, women (whether they are a good mother or not) have way more rights than a man does in matters of paternal affairs. I've seen women who don't even deserve the title "mother" have more rights than a father who does everything for their child and in some cases the mother tries to keep him from doing more and has the nerve to call the father a dead beat. Too many people want to place the blame on one party or the other...the bottom line is every child needs their parents. What is unfortunate are the immature, selfish, bitter, and hateful mothers or fathers that are too busy throwing stones at each other rather than figure out the best situation for their child.

Omar, do what you have to do. These women will eventually put you on child support anyway just because they have the "upper hand" in the situation so the minute they get pissed off about something they won't hesitate to use that as leverage. Good luck!

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