Baby's father owes over 35,000 in back child support

by Shelbs "VIP Member".........................
(Sacramento CA, USA)

The Loves of My Life

The Loves of My Life

When me and my fiance' met it was love at first site. 6 weeks later I was 4 weeks pregnant. I had never been pregnant before and my life was in need of a change. The bad news was. . . . He had 3 other kids by all different mothers. However, he was the sole caretaker of his youngest son at the time and I could see that he was a good father. I had faith in him that he was a decent man. I decided to take my chances.

As I start learning more about his situation i found out he owes 30,000+ in back child support for his second oldest child. His first child's mother had never filed for any kind of assistance or support so he doesn't owe for him. And as i mentioned he was the sole caretaker of his youngest son in which the mother was a homeless drug addict who never helped him financially.

Despite getting cash-aid and food-stamps and giving the system all the mothers information, there was never a support order given to help him provide for his child. I know he doesn't deserve a pass, and there was definitely more he could have done to not let this situation get as bad as it did within the next couple years.

From what he told me for about a year when his second child was around 8 , he had established employment and went to court and agreed on a support order to begin paying payments. At that time his bill was already at 20,000, most of it being arrears. He said he paid for appx. 1 year. Times got tough for him. . lost his job, and was in danger of being homeless with his 3 yo son. He then went and got on assistance and did what was necessary to provide a roof over his child's head.

3 months later i came into his life. i basically moved in right away, and we also had 2 other adult roommates to cut down costs. I was working at that time so we became a team in all our financial needs. As I said I quickly became pregnant. I worked until I was 6 months pregnant, then at that time I got on government assistance. I'm happy to report that its been almost 3 years from the time we met and we have a great relationship, marriage is definitely in our future.

Hope I'm making sense and your following me. . . :)
we are struggling big time financially. I'm a college student, i receive cash-aid for me and our baby and we all receive food stamps. My fiance' is responsible for watching the kids when i am at school and just recently lost his license due to CS issues.

Life would get better for us if we resolve these issues. he has not spoke to any caseworkers since he lost his job in 2008. I wish he would have acted responsibly considering there are actions you can take when faced with this situation. Unfortunately he feels defeated by the situation and frankly is scared to deal with it. This is not ok with me which is why im looking for a solution to the problem.

Within a few days of submitting this story i am gonna request the history of the CS order (payments paid, etc.). So i can see the clear picture.

So there is the story. . .What should I do? What information should i research more? What documentation do we need if we take it to a hearing?? anything to point me in the right direction would be helpful.

Another option im willing to try is contacting the mother of his second child and asking her to forgive the back CS, is that possible?? and to what extent. . .the whole amount can be forgiven or just the arrears??

One last thing i am planing on representing him so please give me as much information as you have that pertains to us.

Thank you so much in advance for your time in helping me.
Shelby S

Comments for Baby's father owes over 35,000 in back child support

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Back Arrears
by: CSA Team Member

Hello Shelbs,

Thank you for becoming a valued "VIP" Member. Before we offer our opinion on your situation we have a question.

When you say that you plan on representing your husband, are you referring to representing him in court as his attorney concerning the $35,000 back arrears?

Please respond via this post....


by: Shelby S

If thats possible. . .?? We do not have the money to hire a attorney.

Back Arrears
by: CSA Team Member

Hello Shelb S,

We think the first thing you guys should do is contact the case worker and ask for a print out of his payment history and determine what his true arrears are.

Also, you will need to check with your local court system because you may not be permitted to represent your husband in court. As far as we know in some states this is NOT permitted if you are not an attorney.

However, your husband can surely represent himself by filing a motion with the courts. You can help him prepare his case, but may not be able to represent him.

There is a good book by Nolo Press called Represent Yourself in Court "How to Prepare & Try a Winning Case"

It really teaches the average person how to successfully represent themselves in a court of law. The link is below to find out more. You can also try your local library and check out the book for free.

Well, we hope this helps.


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